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27th-Feb-2008 07:04 pm - Hairy biker mussels
Licky Lips
April's cooking dinner for me tonight (finally). I think I do 3/4 of the cooking in this flat.

I have chosen mussels a la Fat Hairy Biker Cookbook.
22nd-Feb-2008 11:46 am - Stuart Clark Movie Review 19
Be Kind Rewind

What an excellent film. With nothing to do last night we booked tickets to see Be Kind Rewind. It was either that or There Will Be Blood. Although it’s supposed to be very good and is tipped to win a handful of Oscars a serious fill is not what was needed.

The film didn’t start till 9:30 so we had time to kill so did a mini crawl around Clapham and also grabbed a bite to eat.

The first pub we went to (Bed of Roses) interestingly had a regular burlesque night, and the resident DJ was called (I shit you not) Jimmy Bongos.

We then went to the Clapham Manor on the off chance of seeing their resident dog. If I had a preference for a pub to have a dog or a DJ a dog wins every time. Unfortunately no dog so we moved on to another.

We had been to the Rose and Crown once before and saw people enjoying lovely looking pizza so decided to go back. We ordered some wine and asked if we could put it on a card and were told they only took cash. This was a problem if we were to get food as well so we quickly counted up our cash. We had 20 pence spare after ordering the wine, and two pizzas. Fate?


Back to the film, or starting talking about the film.

Jack Black gets accidentally gets magnetised when trying to sabotage a electricity substation. Unknowingly he wipes all of his friend’s video rental shops videos. The shop needs much needed cash to stay open so they decided to recreate the films themselves. Comedy ensues…

The film is by the same guy that made Little Miss Sunshine, and if you see this film you will laugh out loud through most of it. Best bits include the remaking of Ghost Busters, Robocop and Driving Miss Daisy. It also stars Danny Glover, Mos Def, Mia Farrow and Sigourney Weaver.

SC rating: 87 / 100 (1 vote)
IMDB rating: 8.2 / 10 (804 votes) Be Kind Rewind
20th-Feb-2008 01:50 pm - Important Information From Ocado
Melon Head
We are writing to tell you that we have now equipped all our drivers with boot mitts in order to ensure your floors are protected during delivery.

To take advantage of this service, please ask your driver to wear boot mitts when bringing your groceries into your home - they will be happy to oblige.
18th-Feb-2008 10:16 pm - ... enjoying a night in by himself...
Licky Lips
April's out on her SANE course, Stuart's in playing FM and watching Judge Dredd.
Licky Lips
Time owned car: 2 weeks
Penalty traffic notices: 2 (one each)
Cost: £240 (£120 if paid in two weeks)

13th-Feb-2008 11:17 am - Mortgage advisor
Fancy a beer?
As you may know I will be buying my first house in less than 6 months. I'm off to see a mortgage advisor with April this lunch time. He's the same one that Steve used and was highly recomended.

I'm not sure what to expect really, similar to buying my first car, I know bits and pieces but am still largely in the dark.

We've done rough sums and know how much money we have and are willing to spend each month so hopefully we won't be in for any major surprises.

The biggest shock was using their website's online mortgage calculator.

I typed in each of our salaries and it said we could get a mortgae for over half a million pounds!!! Obviously there are more questions and forms to be filled in at the time but honestly...

We're looking at something around half that.
13th-Feb-2008 11:12 am - Prison Break
Licky Lips
I borrowed the first season of Prison Break from my brother a couple of weeks ago and watched the last to episodes last night.

Conclusion: Good story although at many times I felt it was just too unbelievable. It was violent at times but funny at others in equal measure. Will I be borrowing the next series from Steve? Probably but not for a little while.

I think that's the way forward for me. I am fed up with just getting spoon fed crap TV all the time. I don't want to watch TV for the sake of watching TV I want to watch things I want to watch and also when I want to watch them.

There's no point in me getting a recording box just yet as when we get our new house we will be getting Sky and may as well wait till then and buy a Sky plus box.

Ta ta!
8th-Feb-2008 05:02 pm - I am so bored
I've been so bored this afternoon, I think i've been to every single internet page.

I've resorted to looking through pictures of a bird eating a fish


10 minutes left before hometime!
6th-Feb-2008 04:53 pm - Eddie Izzard
Licky Lips
I'm off to see Eddie Izzard at the Art Theatre tonight. The same place as I saw Richard Herring.

I think it's justa trial run of a load of his material as the show starts at 11:15.

It's pretty good actually, as it means I can get changed and watch the football back at mine first.
5th-Feb-2008 02:24 pm - Mmmm... Pancake day
Melon Head
Shrove Tuesday is today.

Eat all the batter you can!
4th-Feb-2008 04:59 pm - More mobile phone goodness
Licky Lips
With all the crap from car phone warehouse I have now resorted to claiming on my own insurance in order to get my phone replaced.

They have rejected my claim.

I will be contesting this. I will report back with my results.
1st-Feb-2008 09:21 am - Rage Against the Machine
The powers that be have decided to stop Friday cake days. Reason being a mice infestation in our building. The mice have now gone but the cakes have not returned.

Were the mice introduced as a ploy to take away our right to bare cake?

I would not put it past them...

I have had to take matters into my own hands and have re-introduced the tradition with a rebranded Doughnut Day.

12 Krispy Kremes from Tesco on the way in.

It is now in our 4th week running and the mice have not returned.

Viva la revolution! Never let the system get you down.
Hey ladies
Today I broke my third water cooler.

My first was in a storage warehouse when I was working for Aquascutum.

2nd at Lloyd's

3rd today in our IT departemnt.

Is it me?
21st-Jan-2008 10:50 am - Car Shopping
I’m buying a house with April this year and in order to get around whilst hunting a car would really be useful. So we have decided to get ourselves a car.

I’ve been driving for 10 plus years but this will be my first car. I’ve simply never needed one. When I was home I could always borrow my parents cars, when I was at uni I couldn’t afford one and whilst I’ve been in London it would have been a waste of money.

We’ve decided on an MX-5. The simple reason being that we want something a fun before we have to settle down and buy a boring people carrier (no offence Kris).

We’ve been using the autotrader website and have found it very useful. And off the back of this we went car shopping on Sunday. One was at a Mazda dealership, the other was privately owned.

April test drove them both and feels more closely attached to the trade car. It would also come with a full years MOT and warranty. Both are will to take offers but we think given the extras thrown in we’re confident we can get the bargain we want.

The loan money has come through so are ready to make an offer. The dealer said he would give us a call so we’re happy to do that rather than seem overly keen and get less of a deal. One look outside tells me that they won’t have many people looking for a convertible in this weather so fingers crossed we can knock a few grand off the asking price.

The car needs taxing which will be annoying but I think we can get this done once we know the car registration. Same with insurance but all this can be done without too much pain.

The toughest part is parking. We have to go in person to sort it all out. We need to take all of the insurance details in with is too so there will be another delay whilst waiting for the certificate to come in though the post.

If everything goes to plan we’ll have the car on Saturday.

I am keeping my fingers crossed.
18th-Jan-2008 09:52 am - Klutz
I arrived at the hospital early this Tuesday so I decided to do a little shopping. I saw a really nice tall glass vase that I thought April would like so I went in and bought it.

Walking out of the shopping centre I bumped into a post.


Bugger! It wasn’t tremendously expensive so embarrassingly I went back into the shop to buy another.

After my doctor’s appointment I went to Raynes Park for a few beers in a local pub with Steve. At about 9 it was time to go so I picked up my stuff and walked to the train station.


I had bumped into another post!

Argh! I guess it was not to be.
17th-Jan-2008 10:57 am - Change pot
Melon Head
We counted my change pot last night and bagged a total of £82.


Now i've got to cart it in to get changed. April...
16th-Jan-2008 02:59 pm - I can feel it in me bones.
Hey ladies
I went to see a hand specialist yesterday afternoon so see if there was anything he could do to stop my finger from hurting.

I originally hurt it about 10 / 11 months ago and didn’t do much about it. Eventually April made me go to see a doctor. I went to a sports injury clinic and they x-rayed it but said that it wasn’t broken. They said I should go to my doctor so that they could recommend a physio. After a couple of months of that it was only marginally better she then suggested that I go and see a specialist.

He told me that the injury could take up to nine months to heal so I carried on exercising it but when that time elapsed it was still painful and the movement was actually worse.

He took a second x-ray and it turns out that the damaged soft tissue has tried to repair itself but instead of healing correctly some of the soft tissue has turned into bone.

I was given a couple of options

a) leave it but it’ll never get any better.
b) Have an operation to remove the excess bone.

Seeing as I had gotten that far I may as well go the whole hog.

He said that the operation could be done with just local aesthetic so I could actually watch it if I want. I probably will. After this it should go back to normal. However if this is not the case then my only option left would be for a knuckle replacement!

If I had to get that done then I would have to stop playing rugby though.

He suggested that I have the operation, if it works, then great. If it doesn’t then hold back on the replacement till I ‘retire’ from rugby.

Sounds good to me. I’ll wait until the end of the season before booking myself in but that’s my plan.

The wonders of private health.
8th-Jan-2008 12:06 pm - Monaco
Fancy a beer?
April’s company has an office out in Monaco, some of their staff needed training so they sent April out to do it. I tagged along to carry the bags…


The weather in Monaco was generally good. When in the sun it was actually quite hot. Hot enough for a ginger. I think we stood out as coming from Britain, everybody else seemed to be wearing thick coats, gloves and scarves. All we had on were t-shirts.

Dogs and fur coats

Every other woman in Monaco had a stupid little dog on a lead, the others wore expensive fur coats. At first I thought this was extremely cruel and as if they had totally missed out on the practice of wearing fur as a fashion statement. In reflection I hope that they are just really good at recycling and whenever one of their tiny dogs die they add a little bit more to their coat.


This was another strange thing to me. Every woman. And I mean EVERY woman smoked. The first we saw of this was in a random Italian restaurant that allowed people to smoke inside. It turns out that all restaurants and bars allow this. It’s been a little over 6 months since the UK ban and it already seems alien to me.


I knew Monaco was going to be expensive but nothing prepared me for the cost of beer. The most expensive we found was in our hotel bar.

11 Euros per 'pint' (500 mls) in our hotel bar whilst waiting for April. That equates to 9 pounds and 21 pence per full pint. Jeez!


All that being said, the place is still very nice, but in my mind simply has too much money. The gulf between what I’ve seen here in London is vast. And my ambitions of being ‘rich’ have been set back a couple of decades.

This made me chuckle too
4th-Jan-2008 10:54 am - Facebook cull
Licky Lips
Having beaten Steve to 200 friends on Facebook (£10 bet) I have decided to remove the 20 most annoying friends I have on there. Hopefully I will stop getting super poked, turned into zombie / pirates and messaged by idiots.
3rd-Jan-2008 02:05 pm - Cold front...
Forget the fact that it could snow today the BBC should extend their weather forecasts to my gym's pool.

I was turned away yesterday lunchtime as an engineer was fixing the heating. I called up today to see if everything was fine and they said yes.

20 minutes later I jumped into the pool.


It was bloody freezing. As there were two others already in the pool (thanks for warning me) I had to pretend as if nothing had happened and carried on swimming.
3rd-Jan-2008 09:58 am - Facebook is now blocked
Melon Head
I guess it was only a matter of time before the powers that be blocked the site. I'm actually not that bothered. The initial excitement has waned.
28th-Dec-2007 09:50 am - Hip hip horray!
Fancy a beer?
It's my last working day of 2007 so I thought I’d write a short (ish) review.

I've been working at AJG for just under a year and I have to say that it's gone really fast. Does that mean i've had a great time? Probably not, it hasn’t been bad by any means but I think it can be improved. 2008 is a new year and I look forward to seeing what’s in store.

Highlights of 2007

New York
I went to New York for April’s 25th birthday. Other than during the first day or so being the coldest I’ve ever been in my life the whole place was just perfect. The people, the atmosphere and the sites were all far better than I expected. If I ever decide to leave London, I think I could move to New York.

Canal Boating
During this long weekend I think I managed to get wetter than I have ever been in my life, but this didn’t matter as everybody mucked in and we got by pretty much unscathed. Another day or too would have been nice as we had to rush to get back on the final day but that may have been the down fall as it did seem claustrophobic at times. It was good to come back without any accidental drownings.

In Spain I realised that golf was not for me. I think this is an important lesson to be learnt in any man’s life as it’s a very expensive and time consuming past time. I managed 9 out of 18 holes and totted up a score of 80+ and that’s playing by Stuart rules… if nobody’s looking it didn’t count

Metallica delayed announcing their UK tour days a week before the rest of Europe. I suggested to Shaheen that we should just book it see what happens. That was all that was needed. We looked at the various countries and neither of us had been to Finland. Helsinki here we come. The place was excellent. It exuded ROCK! The only downside I can think of is that April didn’t come along with us.

It was my Dad’s 60th birthday this year so Steve and I took my Dad to Ireland as a special treat. We saw some cliffs and caves, an old jail and a flying boat museum. Between us we drank about a barrel of Guinness and watched loads of rugby. As an added bonus we also saw Cheryl Baker.

Things to look forward to in 2008

April’s running a training course in Monaco on the 7th so we’re going to make the most of it and have a weekend looking round. Apparently our hotel room has a superior sea view (???). At one point it was suggested that we get a helicopter ride from Nice airport to Monaco but seeing as April’s company will be paying I think that would be taking the p!ss a little too much.

Although the date keeps getting chopped and changed (currently end of March) we’re off to Australia next year. I looking forward to seeing the place as I’ve always wanted to go. Also, it’s only fair, I’ve shown April round Corby, She must show me round Australia.

Buying a house
By the time my lease runs out at the end of July I will have been living and working in London for nearly 6 years. In rent alone I will have paid £49975! My last place is £14,000 per year! We have to buy a house. The house market is not as strong as it was a year ago but in 6 months time I think we will certainly know where it’s heading. It’ll be a big decision but I think we’re ready.

Win the lottery
My main goal in 2008 is to win the National Lottery. I don’t think it’s much to ask to never having to work again and I will strive to achieve this.
17th-Dec-2007 10:53 am - Bo selecta...
Licky Lips
I should retire from rugby now, on Saturday we played and beat London Cornish 3rds. Their number 8 was no other than So Solid Crew’s MC Neutrino. Ha, ha, ha!


The pinnacle of my rugby playing career has been reached, I do not think I can do any better.


Our league record this year is Played 9, won 7, drawn 1, lost 1. That sees us sitting pretty at the top of the table. Looks like another promotion is for the mighty Mayfair Occasionals!
13th-Dec-2007 08:46 am - Phew... I'm finally feeling better
Melon Head
I had a Christmas dinner with my rugby team (30+ guys) in Holborn on Tuesday night. It was a really good laugh and extreamly funny. Especially when Tunnah and I had to down a load of sambucca each for being foolish enough to be wearing the same hat.

Waking up yesterday morning I felt so rough that I had to call my boss and tell him that I won't be coming to work for the morning. Luckily my boss is a good chap. When I eventually got into work he proceeded to take the p!ss out of me for the remainder of the day. I guess I deserve it.

To give you a gauge as to how ill I was yesterday. I didn't go to an event that I was invited to which there would have been free drink. I've also canceled my plans for tonight with Markus at his new place as i'm absolutely shattered and need the rest.

Roll on Christmas!

To help save the environment (or save on me having to wash up) I reuse the paper cup I get for my tea in the morning. Last week on picking the cup up which was full of boiling water I gripped too hard causing near boiling water to cascade down my hand.

Being a hard ass, I didn't scream or swear but quietly went back to my desk and sat down.


I have just done it again with the same bloody hand!
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